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By Elton Mellum

Old Sam really looked like hell

Plus his nose had begun to swell

Standing there beside his truck

He looked really down on his luck

Do you have any Tums he said

And I could use an aspirin for my head

Then take that darn buck away

That sucker really ruined my day

What in the world happened out there

It appears it sure gave you a scare

Sam just looked at me with a bloodshot eye

And said it’s enough to make a grown man cry

I was just sitting on my end gate back there

Enjoying drinking down my last beer

When that buck scared me half to death

By snorting so close I could feel his breath

I dropped my beer and grabbed my gun

And that buck took off on the run

I fired as he cleared the rim

And I was certain I’d hit him

Soon like a hound I was on his track

Which twisted turned and doubled back

Then went through some bramble patches

Which accounts for at least a hundred of these scratches

Then I spotted him standing there

With a patch of blood on his hair

And I did a double take

Because he was chest deep in the lake

To leave a wounded animal is just not right

And he looked plenty ready for a fight

Well I didn’t have my boat

So I decided to wade out and cut his throat

Then as soon as I started getting close

He charged and broke my nose

So I grabbed his antler from the side

And then I took one hell of a ride

He spun all the way around

And my feet were skyward bound

Then he flipped me up and I let go

Which turned out to be a big no no

For I didn’t land like you oughta

And I got a bellyful of bad water

When I finally came up for air

The buck simply wasn’t there

Later I found him where he died

And I have to admire how he tried

But I really need a beer now that it’s done

And something to stop these bad water runs