You thought she would get up and go outside walking semi-conscious along McDowell Road pulling her IV hook up pole without knowing where she was or what she was doing? You took off work so you could check her out. When you told her this, she almost opened up her staples laughing so hard. Not funny for you though."
Jim, whatever possessed you to buy her a blender and ice crusher for your anniversary? Didn't you realize what mischief she could get into? The day after your anniversary, she went a bought a 5# bag of ice, Bacardi rum, grenadine and limeade. If crushing a couple of ice cubes made her happy, can you imagine how ecstatic she got with a 5# bag?
Then she called up the elderly neighbor ladies all widowed and invited them over for her special Bacardi's made with ice cream. When you arrived home, the scene inside wasn't pretty was it? The eighty plus women in various stages of undress and Mari go-go dancing on the coffee table. All the women had taken their turns at dancing while intoxicated. Mari didn't drink anything because you told her not to when you weren't there."
"Will I see Mari? Does she look the same? Can I take her into my new house or does she remain in the sleeping bag for eternity?"
"Jim you sure do ask a lot of questions." Yes, you will see her, no she doesn't look the same and if you must you can take her home with you."
'How will I know her?" "I left her singing voice the same." "No, she sounds like chalk screeching across the blackboard." "Gotcha, I made her sound heavenly, get it?"
"I heard you had a sense of humor, Jim said." "Yes, that's why I permitted Mari to stay that way, I need a good laugh now and then."
"Help, help, Mari sang out in her new angelic voice. Instantly she stood in front of her. She looked so alarmed and said, "There's a spider in my sleeping bag." "That's the joke I wanted to play on her the Lord laughed."
"Mari bowed down before the Lord and thanked Him for everything wonderful the Lord gave her. He asked her if she wanted to live with Jim again and she nodded her head. As they entered their home, the Lord walked away muttering. "A match made in heaven.
I guess the secret to happiness lies in having the wife believe that her husband is perfect and for the perfect husband to let his flawed wife do whatever she pleases.