Home Store Poetry  Stories Authors Art Gallery Rim Music Spirituality Rim Adventures Merchants About Us Contact Us
The Cat Burglar The Face in the Knothole The Hunt At Devils Gate Wildfire THE MODEL “A:  OF THE '70s Cunning & Enthusiasm      On Top of  the  Mongolian  Rim   She Shot My Buck Water Warrior Beer Bucks & Bad Water The Day Ralph Stopped Drinkin A Trip Throug Time A Thousand Eyes Night of the Coyote Old Johns Last Ride Twin Towers Dust to Dust

Copyright © 2016 Arizona Rim Country Outdoors

Home//About Us/Contact Us /Archives/Privacy Policy

An Online Magazine

Reaching Across The Rim and Around the World

Share on Facebook Share on Google Bookmarks Share via e-mail

The Day Ralph Quit Drinking

By Elton Mellum

In a dream Ralph saw the grim reaper riding

While he was still busy hiding

And the camp fire finally went out

While Ralph thought he was dead without a doubt

Slowly he opened one red eye

But, it was still too early to die

The morning sun exploded in his head

And he reconsidered not being dead

Earlier that day he’d got a deer

And stopped at the bar to get a beer

There he found Aaron and Lou

Celebrating because they’d got one too

Well one beer led to another

And then came in Lou’s brother

And He too had had some luck

For he’d shot a twelve prong buck

This is when things went really wrong

They decided to drink one for each prong

So Joe was busy pouring beer

As they drank each down with a loud cheer

Later on about midnight

 They were all getting plenty tight

The sheriff came and took their keys

And refused to listen to their pleas

So they were left to walk home

Finally Ralph took off all alone

For it was only two blocks for him

But soon he atoned for his sin

He awoke with something hard beside his head

He squinted at the stone that said

Here lies Albert Moore

Deceased in nineteen fifty four

He was suddenly wide awake

And his whole body began to shake

All of this was plenty scary

When he realized he was in the cemetery

The grave digger saw him there

And thought to give him a another scare

Ralph are you really alright

I thought I buried you last night

Ralph’s eyes almost leaped out of his head

Holy cow had he been dead

With that growing sense of doubt

Ralph lay back down and passed out

You are right in what you’re thinking

That was the day Ralph quit drinkin